Look, I’m not a faceless agency promising ‘disruptive synergies’ while overcharging you for a intern’s half-baked design. I’ve got Effortless.Website Builder, a caffeine addiction, and a track record of not screwing people over. Trust me because I’m too broke to disappear with your deposit—plus, I’d rather die than let your site look like hot garbage.

It’s not some sad, cookie-cutter template your nephew could’ve slapped together. A custom website is me sweating over here to craft something that screams you—your brand, your vibe, your weird logo. It’s flexible, functional, and doesn’t look like every other site on the internet. Basically, it’s the opposite of a participation trophy.

Depends on how complicated you want to make my life. Simple stuff? A few weeks. You want a 20-page eCommerce monstrosity with dancing unicorns? Maybe a couple months. I’m juggling design, code, testing, and your ‘Can you just tweak this?’ emails with Easy.Websites and zero minions—so cut me some slack, and I’ll get it done faster than you’d expect.

More than a Happy Meal, less than a yacht. It depends on how fancy you want it—pages, features, my inevitable therapy bills. I don’t have agency overhead or a private jet to fund, so with Effortless.Website Builder, I keep it sane. Hit me up for a quote, and I’ll give you a number that won’t make you faint.

Yes, because it’s 2025, not 1995. I make sure your site doesn’t look like a pixelated trainwreck on phones or tablets. Your customers won’t need a magnifying glass or a time machine to use it—promise.

Yeah, I’m not a monster. I’ll hook you up with a system so easy my grandma could use it—think WordPress vibes, minus the tech degree. You can swap out pics or text without begging me for help. Effortless.Website Builder makes it dummy-proof, so go wild—just don’t blame me if you typo your own name.

I’m not gonna ghost you like an agency after they cash your check. I’ve got your back with updates, security, and fixing whatever you accidentally break. No fancy ‘maintenance package’ upsell—just me and Effortless.Website Builder keeping your site alive for a fair price. Call it my penance for choosing this career.

I’m not a wizard, but I’ll stuff your site with SEO goodies so Google doesn’t hate you. It’s optimized from the jump—keywords, speed, all that jazz. Want to dominate page one? We’ll need to talk strategy, because I can’t bribe the algorithm (yet).